"Big 3" [Part II of When you don't know where the money is coming from?]
I'm back to share with you how doubt, worry and fear tried to entangle me in its web. My first semester of college was by far the most difficult semester for me, emotionally, and was one of my best, academically. During my first semester, one of my closest cousins died after suffering from an illness. The following day, my mom, aunt, uncle, and a friend of theirs was in a car accident that could have ended their lives. Due to the stress of these traumatic events, I passed out in my dorm room, ended up with a bruise on my arm, a knot on my head, and STILL went to class with a banging headache. Then I went to the on campus nurses for help. What a wild time for me and my family. The following semester, I began to struggle to maintain a GPA of 3.5 or higher to keep one of my scholarships. Now this scholarship was one of the big ones I mentioned in my previous post. I feared losing this scholarship because it could mean I might have to return home if I couldn't afford to attend my undergraduate university. I became consumed with trying to keep my grades up, and concerned about my family, especially my mom and her recovery from the accident. She had to learn to walk again. It was a difficult time for us all. I felt like I couldn't help out due to me being away at school, and I truly felt detached and wounded. What I call the "Big 3" - Worry, Doubt, and Fear had me where they wanted me. But God! He held me up in the midst of it all. I did lose the scholarship due to my GPA taking a dip, but I was able to continue on with school. The loss of one scholarship did not put me in jeopardy of leaving school. That was the "Big 3" trying to get me to believe the lie. The enemy wanted me to fail, to quit, to feel emotionally unstable and stay detached from life. But God kept me present! He kept my mind intact, He restored my strength and kept me whole. I graduated on time! And guess what?!? Debt-FREE!!! In the midst of the storm, God brought me out of undergrad with my degree DEBT-FREE! I hope you heard me! Lean not on your own understanding. God's hand is always there. He is ever present. Walk through the storm and the rain knowing at the end of it all, there is sunshine. Share your storm and rain as an experience that will help others to make it through. I'm on fire just talking about God's goodness. All glory belongs to Him! Amen!
Bianca Cotton is the Founder of Behind the Confident Smile, a lover of Christ, wife, and mom who enjoys dealing hope to women all over the world.